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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Phelps Sinks To A New High


Many have seen it by now.

And if you haven't, where have you been?


Michael Phelps smokes weed.


Yup. He smokes the hasheesh, the Mary Jane, the chronic, the grass, the blunt, the joint, the herb, the buhda, the roach... Anyway, you should get my drift.

Michael Phelps was photographed (below) taking a hit from a bong a while back. That however is not the only hit that Phelps is taking. His reputation is shot. People will probably never forget this and always have a different opinion of him.




What's next for Phelps?

Well, Phelps was told by Kellogg's that they will not be renewing his contract which ends at the end of this month.

Which we don't understand? Wouldn't this be a good thing for Kellogg's? Your commercial could go as follows: Phelps swims a lap and hops out of the pool. He dries off and takes a quick hit from his bong. Then he takes a seat on his sofa and just digs his hand into his box of Corn Flakes and starts munchin' for the rest of the commercial.

The U.S. Swimming Team came forward last week to issue Phelps a punishment. Phelps is suspended from the team for 3 months.

Oh.

Ok.

Wait, what?

Tell me again why this is punishment?

The dude just got done working out for four years straight. He won 8 gold medals last Olympics and 14 total in his career (Both Records). He smoked some weed in one of 3 days that he had off in the past 3 years. If I was Phelps, I would shoot up on some heroine too if it would get me out of practice.


A REAL punishment would be mandatory ALL DAY workouts for the next three months?

Now THAT seems like a punishment!

But wait, this is MICHAEL PHELPS!

The man is more machine than human. Last I checked, drugs don't harm machines. And plus, robots get curious every now and then.

Heck, the U.S. Swimming Team should start handing out joints and bongs to everyone on their team! Whatever the heck Michael Phelps is doing, seems to be working!

That's probably why he eats so many calories in a day! He constantly has the munchies!

Think about it though...

With one hit, think about how much he took in. His lungs take in more air with one breath than it takes to fill the Goodyear Blimp.

But this feat makes you wonder... What other famous athletes have smoked the reefer in their prime?

Here are some possibilities:

Well, we all know the obvious.

What really was in Michael's Secret Stuff? I mean, the guy did play basketball with cartoon characters.

Michael Irvin had some trouble with not only marijuana...

This guy has got to be on something.

Some athletes retire for drugs.

Other athletes can't even wait to leave their playing field before taking a hit. That ain't no trophy. More like, Tiger Weeds!

According to Josh Howard, most of the NBA enjoys a hit every now and then.

And this guy may not be an athlete, but i just wanted to include his picture one more time.

Now maybe Phelps can write a book ratting on all the other athletes that he has either smoked weed with, or who he thinks smoked weed. I heard that helps to take some of the blame off.

• • •

DISCLAIMER: Corked Bats does not condone the act of smoking marijuana. We do not encourage the act at all. In fact, we are against it. We are just trying to bring out the lighter side of this subject.

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