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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Habitat for Humanity

For those of you who are planning on having the old summer job back, you better be prepared to look elsewhere. On May 21, the dog pound's Michael Vick is eligible to spend the last two months of his sentence in his home in the Hampton's.


So what does this have to do with your summer job?

In order to show a judge that he has a plan to climb out of debt, Vick will be working a $10/hour construction job for one of W.M. Jordan Co.'s 40 commercial construction jobs. Get ready, Bobby!

Vick has used the old "call an old friend" card to secure this job. Robert Lawson, who helped start the Newport News company, said that he has known Vick for more than 10 years and that they have been involved in charitable work together. He has agreed to take on Vick even after many employers turned the gun slinger down.

Hey, at least he's not his brother.



So all this got me thinking, "What does millions of dollars look like after you're arrested and convicted of a dog-fighting ring?" Well about $750,000 with creditors hacking at your ankles like JAWS in a kiddy pool. Obviously Vicky-Poo can still make it drizzle but the cold hard cash is being earned the good ol' fashioned way.

Vick is in line to become the next spokesman for these companies:














In addition to these brands, an application was found under the pseudonym Ron Mexico. He apparently applied for the new position of Westminster's Celebrity Prancer.

Just kidding... But seriously.

And heck, if all else fails Mike, you could follow in the footsteps of Pamela Anderson and Debbe Dunning and be the next Tool Time Girl!

It'll be easy, Michael:
"Binford Tools is proud to present..."

How hard could it be?

Well Mike, you've had one crazy ride. Prance on and good luck!


Initial information provided by Robert R. Stone, Founder of H.A.U.

2 comments:

Erich Tamola said...

Micheal Vick is pretty much gonna live the rest of his life like Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle Rico.

Frank said...

unfathomable....this is worse than the fallout of m.c. hammer.

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