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Friday, May 22, 2009

If Athletes Were TV Stars...

Well I've had a draft of the NFL Draft up for about 3 weeks now but with school finally releasing its grip on the woo-woo's, it is finished. As a site that brings you glorious and always steamy articles on sports and recreation, I've decided to bring you a curve ball. I wanted to test the waters and bring John Rocker blitzing in from the bullpen to mix up the game. In a weekend that 95% of the world is worrying about "important" things, 5%, including myself, were parked on a couch/recliner/baseball stitched beanbag/Lovesac/indoor hammock/bathtub (don't let the tv slip in the bathtub!) Through this weekend of bliss, I began to talk with fellow korker, Austin Huff. We both are not ashamed to get seriously involved in a serial drama show. In fact, most of our relationship is built around it. And we're not ashamed. Well... Ashamed enough to not talk about it with anyone else, but lucky for us, this is "The Best Sports Blog That Nobody Reads." From there, Austin got off my knee and we started brainstorming for this year's "If Athletes Were TV Stars". This rigorous process is what makes our professional athletes the actors they should have been.

Korked Bats'
If Athletes Were TV Stars

Michael Oher - Baltimore Ravens OT - Ryan Atwood (The O.C.) "Rags to Riches"

Drew Rosenhaus - High Profile Sports Agent - Ari Gold (Entourage) "An Extremely Successful Agent Who Always Gets His Way"

Thomas and Julius Jones - RB NY Jets, RB Seattle Seahawks - The Chase Brothers (Entourage) "The Greatness That Is Film vs. The 5 Towns That Is TV"

Chad Johnson - Cincinatti Bengals WR - Marissa Cooper (The O.C.) "Rebel Child"

Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant - Heidi Montag and Laruen "L.C." Conrad (The Hills) "We Used To Be Good Friends..."

Donté Stallworth - Cleveland Browns WR - Kevin Volchock (The O.C.) "Mr. Hit and Run"

Kerry Collins - Tennessee Titans QB - Bill Buchanon (24) "The Crafty Vet"

Esera Tuaolo - Former NFL DT - Luke's Dad (The O.C.) / Lloyd (Entourage) "Switch Hitter"

Chris Henry - Cincinatti Bengals WR - Justin Bobby (The Hills) "A Dirty Guy Who Keeps Screwin' Up"

The Cincinatti Bengals - Audrina Partridge (The Hills) "Why Do They Keep Taking Him Back?!"

Terrell Owens - Buffalo Bills WR - Whitney Port (The City) "Moving To A New City, But It Will Probably Only Last 1 or 2 Seasons"

Albert Pujols - St. Louis Cardinals 1B - Frankie Delgado (The Hills) "The Most Entertaining Latino"

Stan Van Gundy - Coach Orlando Magic - Mr. Belding (Saved By The Bell) "Because He Looks Like Him in This Picture"

Al Davis - Owner of The Oakland Raiders - Michael Scott (The Office) "World's Best Boss"

Jay Cutler - QB Chicago Bears - Jim Halpert (The Office) "Transferred to Another Branch Due to Romantic Complications with Co-Worker"

Michael Phelps - Team USA Swimmer - Seth Cohen (The O.C.) "A Good Boy Who Experimented with Marijuana"


KC.Allstar said...

Khalil Greene- (STL Cardinals) - Jessie Spano - Saved by the Bell- "I'm so excited... I'm so scared!!"

Whitney said...

Guess we now know what your favorite TV shows are! Props for the Bill Buchanan...not so much for the Mr. Belding.

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