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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The New Kid on the Block


Hello everyone, this is Frank, and as you can tell by the picture I am honored and giddy to be the newest (and greatest) Korked Bats writer. Austin asked me to write for this site about a month ago but work obligations, travel, and my sports career have been getting in the way of me and my introductory post.

...Ok, I don't have a job, haven't gone anywhere, and my sports career peaked in 1996 when I was the ALL STAR Sports Magazine player of the year. Don't believe me? Here's proof:

Yep, signed copy of the cover. Look but don't touch. This baby is worth a pretty penny.

I know what you're thinking. My mom just went all out that year and bought the premium picture package for my YMCA basketball team that came fully equip with 30 wallets, 2 4x6's, an 8x10, buttons, t-shirts, and a magazine cover. You would be correct.

Anyway, enough about my past greatness. Let me tell you a little about myself for all 7 of you out there who care.

I'm 22. I go to the University of Tennessee (I see you judging...just quit it. I used to go to the most perfect college in the entire universe, the University of Kentucky). I hate mayonnaise, Bruce Pearl, hockey, bourgeoisie people, Lane Kiffin, people who flip the camera off in pictures, dried spit in the corners of people's mouths that they wont wipe off, people who don't fold their blankets after sleeping on my couch, foreign accents (especially Australian), the strange obsession college kids have with 80s songs, the lack of a right click on Macs, people who don't wave or say thanks after you stop to let their car go ahead of you, the fact that they made a Sandlot 2, and the Vols.

Now, Austin has warned me to lay off my extreme bias towards all things Kentucky, John Calipari, Rich Brooks, etcetera, etcetera. (I bet you've never seen that written out before but I'm classy and don't like cutting corners. Even though I used 2 contractions in that last sentence.) So I'll try my best.

I'm new to this blogging world so give me break if I'm terrible at first.

Anyway, that's that. Hopefully my next post will come before Obama's presidential term runs out and that it will contain some substance unlike this one. But before I go, I leave you with a picture taken this morning of the 2 biggest ballers ever born as voted on by every human ever...


And before you bring up the fact that yesterday LeBron was posterized by a young college player, Jordan Crawford, remember his older brother, Joe, who taught him everything he knows, was a Kentucky Wildcat. Ok, now that I got that out of my system I am ready to take on the challenge of being an unbiased sports blogger. I love you all and hope to see you soon.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why did you leave Kentucky and go to a college you hate?

Micah said...

Frankie,
As a defender of macs, I must inform you that if you have a mighty mouse equipped mac you can right click. Go to system preferences> keyboard and mouse> set the right side of the mouse as secondary button. It's a beautiful thing.
If it's a laptop you're referencing, I'm not sure if it's possible.

Frank said...

don't hate the college..hate the athletics program and fans

Ralph Tetherson said...

About dern time we get a tennessee hater on hear. I done growed up a Alabama fan my whole life. Never done college but ill declare to take a crap on Kiffin before i hit my grave. Gosh A'mighty i swear if Saban ain't Bear Bryant reincarnate.

D Nasty said...

Frankie.. Hold crtl+click and you have your right click..

Big Rod said...

Frank - Happy New Year and welcome to Team KB - you guys should really get uniforms!
BR

HEWWWO!!! said...

Frank,

you don't hate the vols that much. (See pic in the link)

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v126/30/48/9417093/n9417093_35495196_9237.jpg

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