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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Fightin' Irish

A few hours after all but flushing their season completely down the toilet with a double overtime loss to Connecticut last weekend, Jimmy Clausen got in an altercation with a fan outside of a restaurant/bar in South Bend, Indiana.

Clausen was reported to have received a black eye from the incident.

He was with his family leaving the restaurant/bar when the punch was thrown. The person who threw the punch has not been identified.

Lucky for you, Korked Bats has a few pretty good ideas as to who the culprit could be.


Suspect #1:
Bald Bull

I think whenever someone gets punched, it always best to first accuse someone from Mike Tyson's Punch Out video game first... I'm just sayin'.


Suspect #2:
The Fighting Irish

Don't automatically rule him out because he is the school's mascot. This guy has a lot to be pissed at: his team's horrible season, his height, the fact that he's balding, his hat doesn't fit him anymore, the upper part of his arms are much much longer than his forearms. Let's face it, it sucks to be him. So he definitely could have taken his frustration out on Clausen.


Suspect #3:
This Lady


She's done it once, she could do it again.


Suspect #4:
Hawaiian Punch Dude

Probably another case of Napoleon's complex, or maybe he is just pissed about his team getting beat real bad by Clausen and the Fighting Irish in their bowl game last year. (However, I don't think he could have given Clausen a black eye, I heard his punch is kind of fruity.)


Suspect #5:
The Punching Nun

First clue: She Punches. Second Clue: She's Catholic.
Do we really need any other clues?


However, whoever did it, could you blame them? I think this guy is just asking to be punched in the face.

So on behalf of us here at Korked Bats, we would like to thank whoever it was who punched Jimmy Clausen in the face. You did all of America a favor. Next, could you punch Tim Tebow, Lane Kiffin, Josh McDaniels, or Gilbert Gottfried?




1 comments:

Chip said...

Chip does not approve of punching Lane Kiffin due to the fact that he is the best coach of all the writer's respective schools. SUCK IT

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