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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Baskett Catch


On Saturday, Philadelphia Eagles wideout, Hank Baskett married Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson. The wedding took place in front of over 500 guests on the front lawn of the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, California. Wilkinson, 24, was dressed in over $100,000 of platinum diamond jewelry. Kendra's brother, Colin, walked her down the isle. The couple is also expecting a child which is set to be due on Christmas day.

The couple is currently spending their honeymoon on the Caribbean island of St. Lucia.

Things got real awkward when Kendra's former boyfriend showed up to the wedding. Sources say he is a little bitter that she left him for a younger man. A MUCH younger man. 57 years younger to be exact. Luckily, for the couple, the former boyfriend didn't create a scene.

For our KB female readers, don't worry, we have pictures of the beautiful wedding day. For our KB male readers, yes, I just described the wedding as beautiful. (No homo.)

Congratulations and good luck on the new marriage. But more importantly, Hank, good luck with having to put up with Kendra's laugh for the rest of your life. Gah... Just please, don't say anything funny...

...Ever!




Photos Courtesy of: Vickers/Kaminski/ Splash News

C.W.S.

I believe CWS stands for 'Cute Women Sightings'.


The College World Series wrapped up last week. Louisiana State University won their 6th baseball national title all time. The best of three series took all three to decide the winner and ultimately the Tigers prevailed over the Texas Longhorns.

This series was a compelling series to watch, but not for the outstanding baseball. In fact, I don't know what it was, but something kept me attracted to watching the entire College World Series.

I'm a huge baseball fan but not particularly a huge college baseball fan. I guess it was something about ESPN's camera work that had me glued to my TV.

Watching the College World Series sure was a sight for sore eyes.


Yeah, like I said, I don't know what it was, but this years College World Series had me glued to the TV. Good work with the coverage, ESPN.


Who says baseball isn't a beautiful game?!


Monday, June 29, 2009

"Does This Ever Happen To You?"

Yesterday morning Billy Mays passed away. Mays is most notably the best "pitch man" on TV. With his loud voice and persuasive antics, Billy Mays could sell you practically anything! He was found unresponsive in his bedroom yesterday by his wife. You will be missed greatly, Billy Mays.

In rememberence of the great Billy Mays, Korked Bats decided to share with you the work he did for ESPN 360. These commercials are absolutely hilarious and this just goes to show how great of a sport, Billy was to do these. Rest in peace big guy!


In honor of Billy Mays (1958-2009),
"Here's how to order!"









And here is the funniest one:


KBVB - Blake Griffin Interview

Blake Griffin was the first pick in the NBA Draft last week. Check out our video about how excited he was. And be sure to watch ALL our Korked Bats videos on our YouTube Channel. Please rate our videos and subscribe to our channel!


KBVB - Our First Video Blog

Korked Bats is now on YouTube with plans of bringing you many video blogs in accordance to the written blogs we already provide on this site.

So please, SUBSCRIBE to our channel. Rate our videos! And tell your friends about them! We can only grow bigger with the help of all of you. (By all of you, we mean our 6 loyal readers!)

We hope you enjoy our FIRST video blog. Trust us, they will get better!



If you want to check out our Korked Bats channel on YouTube, click here.



Sunday, June 28, 2009

Austin Hates America

Like many patriots out there, I was enjoying a great soccer match between America and Brazil in the championship game of the Confederations Cup. Going into the game the yankee boys were clearly outmatched. It was David versus Goliath, 1980 USA Hockey versus the USSR, Boise State versus Oklahoma, James T. Kirk versus Captain Nemo, Frodo versus Sauron... you get the idea.


Somehow the U.S. pulled out a 2-0 lead going into the half. Not only that, but they seemed to be playing a better game than the Brazilian team. The impossible suddenly seemed possible.

The second half kicks off. Then my phone goes off. Oh great, my fellow co-author of Korked Bats, Austin Huff, has a tweet. Let's check it out.




WHAAA! My heart sunk. My stomache ached. My head hurt. That was just the jinx that we needed for the U.S. to blow this.

Surely though we could maintain a 2-0 lead. We have played amazing through out the tournament and just completed a great half of soccer.


Flash forward...



America loses 3-2 in one of the most impressive second half rallies in recent memory. So what does Austin have to say for himself?




Too little too late Mr. Huff. Go back to the Soviet Union. Or give me my Confederations Cup. Until then, tell Ivan Drago hello for me.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

SARGE!

Recently, Kellen Winslow Jr. has been tagged as Sarge. Reporters have used his collegiate outrage to coin him a new nickname.

“You’re not going to say that no more, right?” Winslow reportedly “barked.”

Classy.

Friday Fun (On Saturday)

This video is pretty funny. Take 4 minutes out to watch the whole thing. It gets pretty funny toward the end with Namath and T.O. Sorry this Friday Fun is a day late, but heck, better late than never, right?!


Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Greatest MJ Outside of Sports

Sad News: Today Michael Jackson passed away from cardiac arrest at the age of 50. He may be lost, but Michael Jackson will NEVER be forgotten. Love him or hate him, you can't deny the man is the King of Pop with amazing music and dance moves. Rest in peace, Michael.


Cavs of STEEL

With exactly 6 months until Christmas... LeBron James received his gift from the Cleveland Cavaliers. And unlike my parents just giving me an outdated Shaq jersey, the Cavs gave LeBron the actual future Hall of Fame big man, Shaquille O'Neal. NOT FAIR MOM!

Believe your eyes, Mikey... You'll be coaching The Diesel next season.

Think of the pre-game intros these two will come up with together next year.

• • •

Please now allow us, Korked Bats, to provide you with the beginnings to a photo album of a match made in Heaven... (A.K.A. Cleveland) Enjoy:

(And be sure to play this song as you scroll through the pictures. Listen to the music and scroll through very slowly. It adds to the effect, I promise.)





Shaq & Bron Bron
Together At Last!

By: Korked Bats


Oops! Sorry, I don't know how that last one got in there.

This is only the start of what could be Cleveland's first ever championship. For Cleveland fans who may feel that Shaq is washed up, trust me (because you have no reason not to), this is a very good thing for not only your team, but your entire city. And heck, years down the road, Shaq may just pop the question that is on everyone's mind.


"LeBron, can you tell me how my ass tastes?"



Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Shaquille O'Steal

So apparently Shaq tweeted last night that he wants to play some kid in horse for (say this slow) one thousand dollars!

First of all, can Shaq even shoot? All the kid has to do is hit five consecutive free throws... Scratch that, five consecutive outside jumpers and he will be 1K richer. Or heck, just take some advice from Aaron Carter, because apparently he beat Shaq before. Just BOOM, put it in the hoop like SLAM, hear the crowd yelling out JAM, and apparently that's how you beat Shaq.

Now if this was an acting contest, there is no question The Diesel would win. But this is trick shooting and let's just say that Shaq is the Steve Buscemi of shooting basketballs.

It's not very likely, but if Shaq wins, he plans on asking the kid how his ass tastes, since apparently now Kobe CAN do it without him. Shaq needs someone new to dawg on in his raps.

The video that Shaq has linked in his tweet of the guy he wants to play is below. Enjoy, and figure out if there is anyway this could lose to Steel.


If You're Rehab-y And You Know It, Clap Your Hands

"Clap. Clap."

Manny Ramirez is almost finished with his 50 game suspension. The Dodgers' slugger began his Minor League rehab stint last night at Triple-A Albuquerque. But not to worry, Man Ram fans (if there are any left out there), many famous people have been to rehab and have made it out fine. We here at Korked Bats thought up a list of other "rehabbers" who bit the bullet and now look at them, they're kick ass!


John Belushi
Ok, maybe this is a bad one to start off with. Belushi was in and out of rehab many-a-times and eventually died from a cocaine overdose. But in Manny's case, is it possible to overdose on fertility drugs?



Robin Williams
Thats right... The bat from FernGully, Mrs. Doubtfire, Genie from Aladdin, Jack and Alan Parrish from Jumanji used to be addicted to cocaine. He quickly gave it and drinking up when Belushi passed. When he began drinking again (Probably in the Flubber days), he checked himself into rehab.



Robert Downy Jr.
That's right, Robbie has been to rehab a couple times. But now he is clean and tearing it up on the big screen. When it comes to being sober these days, he is as strong as Iron, Man. (Get it?!)



Whitney Houston
She had a big addiction to cocaine in the mid-90's... But she will always lovvve youuuuuuu!



Samuel L. Jackson
Long before there were ever snakes on a plane... Sam Jackson was in rehab. I'd say he made a successful turnaround, being in just about every movie that has been released since then.



Haley Joel Osment
This kid has seen dead people and a court ordered 60 hours of rehab.



Lindsay Lohan
This girl makes trips to rehab more often than normal people go to the grocery store. Now she is gay. (Not sure if rehab as had anything to do with it, but I know sure as heck it wasn't Herbie Fully Loaded that turned her into a lesbian)



Britney Spears
She shaved her head in between rehab stints... But don't worry Manny, you can keep your dreads. You're not psychotic like some people... (coughBRITNEYcough)



Amy Winehouse
They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said, "No, no, no!"



See Manny, going to rehab isn't such a bad thing... Sometimes. Don't worry, before long, you will be right back out there with 102+ other cheaters that we have yet to find out about. You do the crime, you serve the time, just like these celebrities, and Manny, have done.


Manny Photo Courtesy of: Mark J. Rebilas/US Presswire